Dry Run

Today is that date that you try not to get too hung up on. Especially when it came and went and went and went the first time around. But really, I though I would be holding baby #2 by now. I thought that because being another 13 days late would be productively convenient for finishing the school year, there was no way it would happen. I thought the fact that my body had been through this meant I might not have to wait so long. I thought maybe because this kid isn't a one-shot deal like Tyler meant that the due date might actually be more accurate, because maybe they were made at the beginning of optimal time some how. I thought the stress and workload of school, toddler and family would push me to a physical breaking point that would tell this kid to get out, the free ride is over. And darn it, I just thought maybe I could end my last pregnancy with some grace and dignity-as in not being a grumpy, big marshmallow.

Clearly my mommy instincts are still being perfected.

On Tuesday morning, bright and early as usual, I showed up for my clinical rotation at Pacific Communities Hospital in Newport. I met my teacher on the way in and she told me another teacher had called her the night before and said to keep and eye on me because I was "really close to having this baby." I had met the other teacher in the bathroom on Monday after my exam and when she asked how I was doing, I said its hard to focus, I just want to be at home, doing laundry, cleaning and spending some time with Tyler while he is still my only (outside of womb) child. She gave me a pretty calculated look and told me she thought I only had a couple days left in me. This was the teacher who taught all of our pregnancy, labor and delivery, postpartum, newborn lecture material this year, so she is quite knowledgeable about this stuff. Well, she scared the crap out of my clinical instructor and the angels of nursing school finally threw down a gift-I had banked enough hours and she was giving me Wednesday, our last day of clinical off for rest and relaxation! To cap this off, at the end of the day, she actually gave me permission to have my baby. If you knew my teacher, you would know this is a big deal. And that really, I think there is a huge subconscious part of me that was waiting and needing to know it was "okay" for me to go into labor.

So naturally, and physically, I thought Wednesday was it. I felt like crap and started to get a sense that something was different by late morning. I felt different, sick, tired, achy. My normally active braxton hicks switched into aching cramps, some sharp pains and serious back ache. Sounds like labor right????

I told Matt and we planned to get some sleep and then rise for the occasion. Well, the whole being an hour away from our chosen hospital thing started to work on my mind while I lay there, trying so hard like a good girl to relax, rest and let nature take its course. But I had a little person sleeping in a race car bed to think of. A four legged beast to not leave home alone for too long...a mom in California. I didn't want to have to wake my mother in law up in the middle of the night to come over when I knew I could still catch her before she actually went to sleep. It seemed to make so much sense!

I called Shirley and told her I wanted her to come over so that she was already in place for Token and Tyler. She got there, I relaxed some more, and my pain about doubled. Matt woke up and again, it seemed to make so much sense to not wait until I was in some serious agony for a long car ride because the 10 minute car ride last time was not that fond of a memory!

I called the on-call midwife so she would know we were coming, and I could tell by her voice she thought I sounded too calm. She was right. Halfway through the ride I went from lifting myself off the seat during a contraction to get some relief from pressure on my body to....just a backache. Getting out of the car and walking helped when we got there, but it wasn't at the same level.

When I got strapped in the monitor, the baby looked great, and yes I had consistent contractions, but they were no strong enough by any means. I remained pretty much right where I had been at my last appointment the Friday before-2cm. I paced the room for over an hour to jump start my contractions and I got them to hurt pretty good (so wrong when you are asking and hoping for pain lol!!!) but exhaustion (this is around 4am) had me giving in to if they are going to stay, sleeping won't stop them. We were discharged around 7:30. I chose to turn down being put on pitocin, and though I am grumpy and a bit physically worn, I'm still okay with that.

My mother had driven up after getting off work and slept in the waiting area. So the three (and a half) of us went out for breakfast and a long walking/shopping trip around WinCo before heading back to Toledo.

Do I still have contractions? Sure, but they have predominantly switched back to braxtons. My pelvis and back feeling like a someone is methodically breaking and pushing each and every little bone one at a time. But I'm back to some of my usual antics-cleaning, playing trains and studying. My little one just isn't ready yet, and I do want to nudge them along, but not enough for anything other than natural interventions (yet). And as embarrassed and lame as I felt yesterday, yes, I still letting the baby make the choice of when its ready if there are no problems is the best way to roll....One way or another I will meet you in the next 14 days!!!